“Moments” is now complete and I’m pleased with the results since it’s been a while since I worked with a figure and used colored. So I’m happy with this one. 😊
While working on this I found myself wondering what drives me to draw especially using pointillism? For the longest I always assumed it was because, in some twisted way, I enjoyed it, I mean, some part of you has to be a little insane or off kilter to enjoy doing pointillism work…at least that’s what I like to believe. But I’ve always felt that my enjoyment of it was just a simple surface answer. There was something more to it. Upon pondering the question I realized that more was mastery. I desire mastery. Deep down I long to be good at something and drawing has been that one thing that I’m interested in enough and enjoy enough to put the time and effort into to be good at. I have difficulty imagining myself doing anything else. Even though I have skills in other things, which from time to time come in handy but I’ve never had a strong inclination to pursue them. I could have been a photographer, web programmer, graphic designer, fitness trainer, urban planner (what I eventually got my Bachelors in) or botanist, all of which I have knowledge of or experience in but they all turned out to just be interests, not passions. And that therein lied the difference for me. The desire for mastery was the difference between an interest and a passion. Granted I was interested in all of these thing but I didn’t desire to master them; to become good at them. That is essentially what drives me. And with this understanding of myself I don’t feel so guilty about all the avenues I abandoned in the past.
So the next time you find yourself torn between different interests and feel like you need to be more focused, maybe you should ask yourself “Is this something I want to spend my time and energy getting good at? Is this something I want to master?” Asking yourself that might help to narrow things down by separating those things that just stimulate your curiosity or seem cool for the time being from those things you genuinely want to dedicate yourself to and become a master at.