…when things fall through. But often times that’s what I immediately feel. When I step back, way back, in order to get some clarity, I realize it’s no direct fault of my own but at first, it’s easy to start beating up on myself. As an artist these internal beatings have a lot to do with getting buyers for my work and doing commissions. I’ll go into a tizzy and start wondering what did I do wrong when things don’t work out? Maybe my work isn’t good enough. Maybe I didn’t speak the right words. Maybe I didn’t pray hard enough. Maybe I’m not thinking positively enough or vibrating at the right frequency enough. These thoughts get me all in a knot of anxiety and confusion that sometimes I end up spending way too much time search my personal library for the correct formula to get myself right with the universe than I do in crafting my art. The truth is, which I often have to remind myself of, there are things that will always be out of my hands. I only have control over my own thoughts and actions.
As an artist you are going to run into people who will commission you to do work and then change their minds. You are going to run into people who you will do freelance work for who won’t pay you. You are going to run into people who will get your hopes up and go through all the motions of acting like they are going to buy some of your work but won’t follow through. You may run into a lot of people like this or just a few but none the less you will run into them. This is just the way it is. It doesn’t matter how prayed up you are, how positively you think, how long you sit in mediation, how many candles you light or how many incantations you speak. You will encounter such individuals along the road to your success. Don’t let them trip you up and doubt your aspirations. Keep moving forward because no one is going to care about your dreams, your goals or your craft as much as you or take it as seriously as much as you. So don’t build the worth of your dream upon the words and actions of others. Keep believing in yourself and your vision. Devote yourself to it by all means. As you keep going more opportunities will come. You will meet more people who will actually buy your work, follow through with that commission or give you that amazing gig. All of the let downs are just a part of the journey or as a former love once said to me “You gotta go through the shit to get to the sugar.”.
Your main focus and responsible is creating the best possible work that you can create according to your vision and putting it out there into the world as much as possible. The rest is out of your hands.